Such a long road...and now I'm saying NOT THIS

I've been MIA for awhile. Looking back I can see that things are not only NOT getting better, they've gotten worse.

I'm looking for work. I'm getting my ducks in a row. I'm taking steps forward.

Hard. Scary as hell. But so so necessary.

A dear friend shared this post the other day. It resonated with me so deeply, so thoroughly, and I know it's time to do what it takes to meet my needs. I'm still terrified. I'm still unsure how to do it. I'm still MAD AS HELL heartbroken that it's come to this.

But when I see little glimpses of a happy Sway, dancing under the moon in all her perfectly imperfect, beautiful, FREE glory, loving her children, fulfilling her dreams, making decisions without someone constantly in her ear TELLING HER NO and trying to control the very air she breathes because they can't stand to face the music on their own....it makes it just a little bit easier. It puts a little more fire in my bones.

I am worth love and respect. I am enough just the way I am. I am ready to seek happiness with God by my side, nudging me on. I know He is with me. I know He wants me to be happy. I know He'll help me find a way.

Cue the southern momma pleading "Lord, give me strength!".